Exclusive Photos: Maiden Flight of Spacecraft, Reverse-Engineered ET Tech?

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Historic Lower Manhattan proved the unlikely setting yesterday for the bumpy first flight attempt of a NASA spacecraft, reportedly reverse-engineered from an ET (Orion-based) starship crashed off the Finnish coast.

Just steps away from Fraunces Tavern, where George Washington saluted his weary victorious troops at the end of the American Revolution, this $12.7 billion prototype for flights to Mars, Venus and beyond attempted to circum-teleport the globe by a sophisticated form of “etheric zipline”.

On its first teleportation flight the odd craft, code-named “Chiropterus”, shuddered as it slowly lurched first a few inches, then maybe 10 or 12 feet above the corner of Broad & Water Streets, still strung on its galacto-tensile-strength-rated tethers that stretched into the grey skies.

After a brief bright green flash that my recording device unfortunately wouldn’t register, the Proteus seemed to disappear for an instant–but quickly reappeared, only to clunk clumsily down to the pavement.

According to one of the few onlookers–who seemed a desultory mix of weekend tourists and underpaid Wall St. lackeys–the peculiar-angled, rather menacing black craft almost looked “like a 12th-dimensional bat, trapped in the cave of our greater density vibrations”. Whatever.

A NASA spokesman described this flight as a success, though since no casual observer saw the Proteus do anything except dangle over a quiet Manhattan intersection, it’s hard to confirm or deny their report.

NASA attempted this inaugural Halloween flight of the USS Proteus in downtown NYC because, as the spokesman further claimed, “Area 51 is almost overrun by binocular-wielding, conspiracy-theory-foaming-at-the-mouth whack jobs,” whereas NYC “people are too cool to pay any attention even if King Kong kidnapped the Statue of Liberty…Sometimes the best place to hide a secret is in plain sight.”

Above: Brave female crew leader Hanna Solo looks on after her post-flight debriefing. It’s no picnic to consider that this global circum-teleportation effort could have left her snagged in a dangerous trans-dimensional loop, with her body parts strung painfully across five continents’ ziplines. We can only assume she might be up for a Congressional Medal of Honor.

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Happy Halloween!
This spoof’s been fun, but:

Come back next week for a REAL series of mysterious astronomical photos.

Completely authentic, original, remarkable images of the moons & night skies above NYC like you–and I–
have NEVER seen before.

Copyright 2011 Rev. Scott Ufford


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12 thoughts on “Exclusive Photos: Maiden Flight of Spacecraft, Reverse-Engineered ET Tech?

  1. Rev. Scott Post author

    Aha, the Joker shows his real face! Do come back–your brevity of wits is appreciated here.

  2. scottu Post author

    You must have a pretty strong imagination yourself Peter–you ask some tough questions–you aren’t by chance a man from the future are you? Not that there’s anything wrong with that…Just hoped you might share with us the next 997-to-1 odds World Series winner!

    Rev. Scott,
    The Psychic Philosopher

  3. scottu Post author

    Thanks Erwin, I tried to keep everything in the post within the distant realms of credulity for as long as possible, keep the reader saying to self while reading, “It COULD be real what he’s talking about!”

    Unfortunately–to lurch off topic a bit–that’s exactly what “our” politicians–you know, the ones bought & sold by the megacorps lobbyists in Washington from time to time–that’s the game they’ve been playing: keep the regular Jane & Joe from guessing what rot’s really infected their, excuse me, “our” system: keep us placid, too busy struggling for the shiny promises of the legal tender; reach for that shiny prize just a little further, string us out on falsehoods a little longer while they profit until…SNAP goes the weakening branch our economy & ethics have been inching us out on…! Enough diatribe from me heaped on your innocent little comments…but you DO know what I’m talking about don’t you?

    PS Enjoy the movie coming out in fall 2013: The Splat of the USA Economy & the World’s Delusions of Security (the illusion that muted, slow-spinning, smilingly administered doses of crime-as-usual will cure the human race) !

    Okay, NOW
    for my morning cup of coffee. Thanks again for writing Erwin.
    –Rev. Scott,
    The Psychic Philosopher

  4. Erwin N.

    This is my first time I have visited your Vault. I found a lot of interesting psychic information in your blog. But the best is this Batman movie spoof, it’s funny! keep up the impressive work.

  5. Peter

    Excellent witty post. Not everybody has a wild imagination like you. Or does this NASA teleporting technology really exist? I think you’re wrong if you think it’s just a joke, sometimes what you think is impossible is already happening, it’s floating outside your bedroom window this minute hee hee.

  6. scottu Post author

    Thanks Enrique, a little-known study that I just commissioned 10 minutes ago, has statistically confirmed that people who read my posts on a regular basis gain hyper-enjoyable bursts of cosmic light sensations at the most unusual but useful moments. Very much like enjoying a nice sugary Twix bar!

    Peace & Happy to you,
    Rev. Scott
    The Psychic Philosopher

  7. Lukky Swede

    Great Data, Roger that computes. Lukky me I beemed down on your site by accident, I bookmarked it. Batman forevver babee! Cant wait until the reel thing hits.

  8. Enrique D.

    wonderful post.Never knew this, regards for letting me know. Now I think I’ll send my friends here with brains to check out your site more, thanks for caring about complete strangers with your psychic posts!

  9. scottu Post author

    Thanks Jarrod for the kudos,
    Sometimes a little spoof is just what the doctor ordered.
    Since the latest Batman movie scenes with this weird “UFO” were shot on the street right outside my office–
    blocking the NYC sidewalks for hours!–
    just goes to show how you can make creative use of “what’s already growing in your backyard”.

    Whether or not these are brilliant (? or otherwise) invention concepts for the world,
    here’s a GENUINE INSPIRATION by Spiritual Master Teachers:

    Enjoy!
    Rev. Scott,
    The Psychic Philosopher

  10. Jarrod

    Hey Scott, that’s hysterical!
    Batman never had it so good.
    Maybe you should write his next script.

    “Global circum-teleportation”?
    “Galacto-tensile-strength-space-tether”? HA

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